"THE DEVIL and ME" Model Jennifer Benner survived a horrific attempt on her life by an ex
Male model with glasses Zachary Howell Male model as police Marvin Davis Female model Jennifer Benner Photographer John McCarthy
Sometimes love May leave us in the blink of an eye. Life we speak of may send us in a different direction. She may never know exactly why fate led her to that very day. But that is a day she would never forget a day that will lay behind her eyes, behind the eyes that shined so bright. To everyone they seemed like the perfect couple and they were in the beginning. The laughed and played just like children deep in love back during those good old days. It was the first time she felt truly in love. She had never had those heart flutters deep down to the core, the ones that just barely tickle, the ones they call butterflies. The new house and new love were dreams come true. "why me?" She thought. Before she knew it, she had been knocked off her feet with the proposal of marriage. As everyone would expect she happily accepted. It was then she began to have fears. Marriage with something she never thought would happen to her. But the reality was she was elated. She was in love with him. She loved surprising him with sweet treats she baked at home while he was off at work. She loved being beautiful for him. It was almost as if she were trying to get his approval. Which she should have already had. They'd spend evenings talking, drinking sangria and dancing just like a couple in love. He'd talk about his past. Some of the things stuck her wrong but she never thought twice about her future husband. It was almost as if he was telling her he was dangerous. He even told he at one point he felt evil inside of him. Evil, he said that doesn't stop until death. She never connected the dots that were eagerly lining up side by side for her to recognize. Love makes us ignore crucial pieces of evidence. Even after the first attempt he was never to succeed. Women have always given second chances at love expecting it to be different. He'd only been back 3 days from the short split they had. Everything seemed fine in her eyes. They went on as if they'd never separated. Life woes still there, nothing had changed. She knew she had to give it one last shot. She loved this man. She loved him more than she loved herself, and her home. She had to figure out a way to fix it. Never did she see it coming. She'd never thought this man would do this. But she also knew and didn't acknowledge the dark side of him. The night as so many in the past, the two of them together having fun. Suddenly it was too late, when she realized something had changed, and this was not the man she knew. He was different, he was dangerous. Brutal, the only words she can use to describe that life altering night. The night that she is so lucky to have survived. The first hit was when she knew inside, it was going to be a long torturous night. A night of pain again. But this time it was not just strangling. He had become a dark evil man. The man he used to talk about while enjoying drinks and dancing. She could feel the desire in his hands to kill her and sounds in his voice were nothing like she'd ever heard before. She had done nothing but love this man. Her ring was somehow shining so bright atop his pinky. Shards of glass perhaps, she thought. It was until the sparkle hit she knew at some point the ring had left her left ring finger. Such a big ring to her hand was suddenly so small. Another blow directly to the jaw and ear. The ringing in her left ear became so strong. Another, and another. Her neck was becoming like a broken twig between his hands. His knee pressed so strong into her diaphragm releasing her air, with his hands gripped tightly. He enjoyed watching her suffer. He began to call himself a different person. A man they had spoken about during their long talks over sangria. The man was his grandfather who'd been dead for years. "Coca is here" he said in a voice that was as scary to her as the first time she watched the movie "It." Her only choice was save her energy, she had to survive. Helpless to the hands, the hits, she could feel her heart beat slower and slower. The clock now 5 hours past the first hit. Her thoughts were “when was it going to end? Will I die?” She thought in silence. Death was no option for her. The blood pools were only becoming thicker. Her vision becoming so blocked she was unable to see through the swelling. She tried to scream for help. Failing every time as his hands gripped tighter. So many times, she had tried to get away. But she had nowhere to go. She looked around and there was no way out. The only way out was to be smart. She had to be wise with every choice. Being treated like an animal was not an easy choice, however she could not fight off a man nearly 100 pounds heavier than she. She could only think to herself about the little girl she loved so much. The reality is, she wasn't a tough woman unless she needed to be. No matter how hard she tried she couldn't be stronger than him. So, she chose to be smarter than him. Every blow to the face only made her physically weaker. But the vision of her little girl made her strong in a different way. It gave her mental strength. She could've sworn she was going to die, that's all she could think to herself inside. "This is it, I will not survive." But that beautiful little red head kept coming into her thoughts. Almost like she was yelling "mommy" at her. "Mommy come home to me. Please don't leave me, I need you." He took a break from the attack. As he urinated, he quickly grabbed her throat, "here we go again" she thought. Dragging her through it as if she were some mutt who'd done something terribly wrong. If she were going to be treated like and animal she would become herself. Selfish as it may be, her life and child were more important. His life became nothing to her. The red scissors were nearby. The sudden adrenaline rush gave her strength. The strength to kill. One stab after another they became stronger. She wanted him to feel the pain he had caused her. Finished at last, no pulse he lay there dead. 5:04 am the police arrived to the brutal scene. A scene so violent they couldn't comprehend at first why she had killed him. She sat there staring at him. Wondering how it got to this. The days went on, her bonds exonerated. Through recover she began hearing things. Screams and howls as if he was there again. Sleeping directly in the center of a bed hidden away in fear. Wondering if his family would come back and give her what they thought she deserved for taking his life. Daily she encountered panic attacks and visions of the malicious attack that was to leave her dead. These howls were so strong she began to question her own sanity. She stubbornly avoided it all. She'd say "I’m alive, that's what matters." Days, weeks months had been flying by but she had never been able to understand why 5:04am was a time she'd never forget. She realized it was the last time she had seen a clock. She had survived 6 agonizing hours that she'd still never understand why they began in the first place. Yes, her permanent damage will always be there. However, she would become the woman she wanted to be. Whether she survived physically she subconsciously waited to think about it again, as she knew it would never cease. In the end, she learned to be free of fear. No man would ever treat her like an animal. She had vindication and life. Making her only more powerful to the world around her. She had succeeded, she had survived what many would not. She had felt her heart slowing, but her ability to control her fear was what gave her this magnificent ability to survive. Everyone knows her as strong willed and free. Very few know her as the animal she had to become to survive. Memories like this can make or break a person. She wouldn't dare fall into the victim Role. Nor would she has ever dared to tell the world her story. She is courageous, wise, and loving. Word on the street is that, she has never been the women she was before that night, and she doesn't care. Her life is what matters. With that said this woman is an achiever. She's made a life. She has learned to love as though every day is her last. She is still the same, only certain areas has this changed her. She is a beautiful survivor. She is life, love, and freedom.
